The day the Mayans/Nostradamus etc. have predicted the end of the world which is December 21, 2012, is when I ended most of the negative aspects of my life. Yes, I killed it by force! As I’m not liking the smog-like fumes of unconstructiveness that I’ve been inhaling which clouds the silver lining I’m trying to hold. The dose of my medicine which I’m prescribing to my friends still works on me which is setting a deadline that will lead you either to a good or bad, a yes or no decision. I told myself that if ever this “End of the World” will occur, at least I have learned this ability to accept things that are inevitable. Yes again, for the power of “acceptance”. Thanks to a good friend who’ve introduced me to this word which I consider like more of a downer kind of drug that calms my combusting thoughts.
Gray areas of my life which is as gray as the gray sky is finally seeing tiny sunrays piercing through it little by little. I can finally say that the war is over. Confucius have already left inside my body. Though it caused too much damages such us my personal balance, my unsaved relationship with my ex-lover which I don’t regret, and my spirituality. But like other wounds, it will soon be healed and I won’t mind the scars that would remind me of my darkest hours as it will always makes me realize how I have recovered from all these things.
Am I fully recovered to the extent that I’m back to normal? I’m still under renovation of finding and opening myself to improve my life and no, I don’t want to go back being normal which might fall on these stupid obstacles again. "I am a better person now". I feel sorry for my ex who’ve doubted me when I told him about this. But then again, who could’ve blame him? After all that has happened to us, it’s better to end this roller coaster ride with him. I wish him the joy and happiness he deserves to someone else which he will never realize from now on that I can also give it to someone soon.
Moving on is such a bittersweet experience. Let’s just assure that we’re moving forward and let’s not allow ourselves to settle with someone or something less.
