Just this week one of my weaknesses in life passed away, my grandma. Who raised me since birth. I was born as a blue baby, with a very weak lungs. I was born literally almost half dead that the doctor needs to do some pinching on my heart for me to normalize my status. So back then, my mom can’t bring me to Manila where the air is polluted and since she and my dad is busy at work and I need some extra care, my mom entrusted my life to my grandma and grandpa who’re living in the province. I stayed there until I was 5 years old and my mom and dad always visit me during weekends. I owe so much my life to her and seeing her passed away is like the same feeling I felt when my mom left us but it gave me the exact opposite realizations.
When my mom passed away 13 years ago, that triggered me to be strong in all aspects. All I was thinking back then is to strive for all the things that my mom would want me to be which during the process made me realize that the world will never be lean in your favors unless you do something about it. I channeled this heartbreaking event as my strength that whenever I will encounter different problems, I would just think that hey, I’ve already lost someone who’s dear to me, so what else would be painful than that? And seriously, it really helps me to surpass any difficulties that comes in my way. Although what I’ve realized is, because of this kind of thinking, I become quite a bit insensitive to others’ feelings. And I see myself as this kind of person with a very strong personality that whatever I will do whether it’s wrong or right, at the end of the day I can make it look right. So when the mother of my mom passed away recently, while I was making my last look at her, I felt like there’s a warm water suddenly flows all over my system. Like my grandma’s telling me to loosen up, soften up a little. Like it’s not all about me, and achieving what I want to be. And I began to remember all the good things she have told me which made me realize more what life is really worth.
You know, it’s really not bad to keep striving or pursuing what you want. But haven’t we realize that the more we keep on pushing it too hard, the more we just let time moves faster for us? We may kind of think that this is just normal, like we never realize how time flies so fast specially when we’re too busy at work or focusing too much on our lessons at school that we always tend to say this expression “Oh my God, it’s already Friday?” . Initially we take this kind of scenario as a positive thing that we always embrace the two rest days coming every week. But what we didn’t realize is that because of focusing too much on what we want and always being excited for the weekend, we let time eat our lives that quickly during the weekdays which is like fast forwarding our lives to its very end without us noticing it.
We were born because God wants us to embrace the total package of this world. The ups and downs. We are given time to value it and not to waste it for some things that we can never bring with us once we’re dead. The death of my dear grandma made me realize to look back and see what I have and already done with my life. The people around me, my friends, relatives and love ones who’re there for me despite of those moments when I’m letting time eat my life but they never get tired to be there for me. The people I’ve hurt but still giving me their unconditional love and support. My health condition that didn’t put me down. And I guess, it’s high time to buy time to give back and appreciate all these stuffs. Upon seeing these things, it suddenly slowed down my rushing time which made me become conscious of the true wealth I really have. Valuing every second of my life. Truly, it isn’t money and material things that can bring you happiness, it’s the point in time you will learn how to accomplish full contentment in life.
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