Stuck in a Moment

After all the wrong or right decisions we’ve made, we tend to get numb on what is really wrong and what is right. Because we will end up asking ourselves if what we did is what we really should do. Consider this numb stage like as if you’re in a quicksand. The more you move, the more it devours you. And the more it pulls you down, the more you won’t find a resolve on it. I know some of you can get what I mean as you’ve also experienced the feeling of being stuck in a moment.

The moment of being neutral. The state of oneself where there is no good nor bad due to the confusion that still lingers in you after all that has happened. It’s like you don’t want to move nor do anything and just want to stay in your comfort zone for a while. This is a normal reaction and I guess this is better than letting yourself get traumatized which is more difficult to deal with. This is where you feel ok but not totally alright. Just letting all things around you come and go. Subtle emotion that doesn’t entertain too much happiness and sadness. It may sound insensitive, well, yes it is but it’s better to look that way than to be so lost and tormented.

To be honest, it may look like it’s quite easy to maneuver our life since we’re not doing anything to close the book, but it’s not. Well, escaping and not facing the real deal is, but bearing in mind that you’re just stuck in a moment means you’re not running away from anything or anyone. You just don't know the answer yet. And since you don’t know what to do, you might do things that would unintentionally hurt others, worse are the ones close to you. And we’re not just lame and lazy to clear everything but it’s just that we really don’t know how to solve it for now. And yes, others may see it as you’re being unfair of keeping them hanging with you but seriously, the answer hasn’t been born yet to set a bright light on the situation. So why put a verdict if it will just worsen things out?

If you don’t know what to do, then don’t do anything at all. Keep your cool and probably be selfish for now not minding the pressure around you until you find answers and set your plans. Try not to think too much and just try to live. For there will come a time that you will see the silver lining that will be your grace in this labyrinth situation.

Finding Destiny

Lucky are the ones who've already found their destined partner. Or the ones who didn’t had the hard time to find them. On the second thought, was there anyone who were lucky enough to easily accomplished it? Just today, I received a wedding invitation from this couple who’re giving their utmost appreciation to me. It’s because I’m the reason why they end up with each other. I don’t know why I have this hobby of being a cupid and do the match making to the extent that some of my friends are already calling me a pimp. But you see, I’m really really good at it! Now, going back to my trash, I’ve realized that these couple didn’t had a hard time to find each other because an angel (ahem!) helped them to be together and their now getting married. So should I consider them as the lucky ones in finding their destiny effortlessly? I still believe in the balance of nature. Prolly they had an instant access to be together but they might have their ups and downs before they ended up deciding to get married.

How do we measure destiny? How can we say that we are destined to this someone? Time plays a major role to this and a lot of trial and error and testing waters. I guess no one can really say it in an instant that we are meant to this person. A lot of symptoms should be felt before we can say to ourselves that this guy/girl might be the right one for us. Remember, there’s the word “might”. This is when we will realize that you and this person are in sync. A lot of similarities. You even start to like even his/her dark side and all the flaws. Or if symptoms persists, you’re already having this mushy things like you can see yourself getting old with this person and finally, considering him/her as your great love. This is what I called, aimed destiny. We locked down our target as we feel these symptoms towards them. But then again, “might”. So best piece of advice is to always have a back-up plan to pull yourself together if in case it didn’t worked out.

To some who doesn’t mind too much about who they were destined with, fate lurks subconsciously. Serendipity. It can be a familiar stranger you always see in different places randomly. It can also be a curse that will always lead you back to this person no matter what the circumstances may be. It’s like putting the both of you together like a mouse in a maze on two different direction but at the end of the day, you still end up meeting together. You can’t justify if it’s still love but there’s this strong connection that you can’t disband yourself despite of the walls and the distance between the both of you. Simply, you can’t just let go of this person for a reason you don’t know. Is this what you called a destiny that’s been nourished by fate?

Thinking about the right person for us doesn’t mean that we could end up with them living in a happily ever after. Thinking won’t lead you to anything. You better do something before it’s too late. You don’t want to sing Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away” whenever you will see or think about him/her right? It is also so depressing to think that not all people who were destined to each other end up being together. It’s what you called, reality. But hush now and don’t let it bring you down. Think about the good memories you’ve earned from this that will make you a better person for someone who’s prolly more suited for you.

Sense of Insensitivity

People were born equally. The only thing that varies us from one another is when we have already the awareness to realize the traits, characteristics or even the hereditary sickness we’ve inherited to our parents. We all have the will to choose who and what we want to be. Most behaviors were acquired due to memorable experience or trauma which can establish subconsciously our insensitivity. On a lighter note, I’m not talking about people who’re stupid that we think they’re insensitive. There’s a thick line between being a moron and trying not to feel anything.  

Being insensitive doesn’t always mean that it’s not a good thing. One example is the phrase “Love is Blind”. People who were in this kind of situation are happily insensitive. They don’t mind what their friends or their mothers negative opinions about their feeling for as long as they are amorously savoring the love they feel. Another example is being gay. Before an individual will gradually accept it, at first they will think that it’s biblically wrong and it’s unacceptable to our society. It’s wrong but it feels so right. Hence, being insensitive will play a big part for your freedom. Accepting your sexuality could mean that you have to be numb on what others will or might throw at you.

Judging a person that he/she is insensitive is off beam. I mean, I don’t think no one could live like that for the rest of his/her life. Sometimes, we only need to be insensitive to cover the pain, our secrets, or what our true current situation is really like. Consider it as a cocktail dress or a coat and tie which you occasionally wear just to look fine in an event. A good cover up. These people who’re good to be insensitive are the most sensitive persons. Inculcating this condition is not that easy just to diminish the pain we’re trying to endure or rather the pain we are dealing to someone. Taking this risk relentlessly, can you imagine the guilt that could backfire at them once they remove the mask of insensitivity? It’s an instant truce that you can acquire which will give you more time to think things solemnly. A space that could save you from the curse of being jaded.

Expect that even the closest one to your heart might not understand you if you turn on this switch. And it might be really hard for you to explain why you have to do this but I guess it’s alright. Words can usually translate on what we think but not the ones we feel. Wearing an adamant skin should have a limit. And just make sure you have a valid reason in doing this.

2012

I don’t know if you’re aware but most people have predicted that this year will be the end of the world or rather a big change will occur based on the Mayan prophecy. We’ve all heard these doomsday predictions before, we’re still here, and the planet is still here, why is 2012 so important? Well, the Mayan calendar stops at the end of the year 2012, churning up all sorts of religious, scientific, astrological and historic reasons why this calendar foretells the end of life as we know it. The Mayan Prophecy is gaining strength and appears to be worrying people in all areas of society. I’m pretty not sure what would be next if we got over this year and nothing happened as we’ve already passed by Nostradamus’ premonition, the Y2K bug thing and the likes.

Why do some people were so into the “End of the World”? In fact, a lot of films, songs, tv series and different kinds of literature were inspired by this idea. Do they really want to meet their end? Then don’t include the world which includes me! Ok, back up corny humor… (ugh). But on a serious note, even though nobody has any clue how this will look like, we normally use this terminology when we’re broken hearted, or down with different aspects in our lives. Which really made me think if the End of the World is really that bad…

Instead of getting worried if ever I will experience meeting the end of our planet, I’m more curious what’s gonna happen next after this? What lies ahead? Who will end it? And how will it be ended? People were born and died having this kind of thought too. But what if it’s not true at all? Best piece of advice is to not invest too much of your brain cells on this idea. I mean it’s enough to have an itch of your curiosity out of this but I don’t see the sense of investing time to find out when this will really happen. The more we worry about it, the less we’re living our life to the fullest.