I'm finally here. Can't believe that I'm doing this. Travelling alone here in a gloomy Forks-like place where vampires can live called Baguio. So what am I really doing here? The initial plan was actually, this is supposed to be my get away quality time with my ex. A plan I made a month before the sudden change between us. I loved this place eversince and I booked a wonderful hotel which I dont want to go to waste that's why I risk travelling here alone. I've tried inviting some friends to accompany me but maybe due to the late notice they weren't able to make it.
I've had some major hesitations at first of pushing this plan. Thinking that this is the best place for couples to have their huggy wuggies. But I guess the urge inside me to have this big change for myself undisputedly pushed me to take a 6 hour bus ride to travel here. Like maybe it was all in the plan for me to be here. To think things thru or so called "soul searching". To be honest, I haven't had one. What I've noticed after the break up is whenever I'm alone, my mind keeps on talking inside me saying all the things and behaviours that I'm actually fed up already and an imaginary cloud that encompasses some images of what I think I want or it would make me a better individual.
Admittedly, I was so confident with myself before acting like what's the current all of me is the one that I want to bring towards the end of my life. That kept me blind to improve myself. Truly, life itself is a lifelong journey. As an accountant, maybe this is really the best time for me to assess the financial statement of my own life.
I've had some major hesitations at first of pushing this plan. Thinking that this is the best place for couples to have their huggy wuggies. But I guess the urge inside me to have this big change for myself undisputedly pushed me to take a 6 hour bus ride to travel here. Like maybe it was all in the plan for me to be here. To think things thru or so called "soul searching". To be honest, I haven't had one. What I've noticed after the break up is whenever I'm alone, my mind keeps on talking inside me saying all the things and behaviours that I'm actually fed up already and an imaginary cloud that encompasses some images of what I think I want or it would make me a better individual.
Admittedly, I was so confident with myself before acting like what's the current all of me is the one that I want to bring towards the end of my life. That kept me blind to improve myself. Truly, life itself is a lifelong journey. As an accountant, maybe this is really the best time for me to assess the financial statement of my own life.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI am a complete total stranger who have grown fondly over your relationship with your ex. You two seem to be just perfect for each other as far as the digital/social media can portray you two. Of course, we, spectators, wouldn't really know what happened between the two of you. And I guess it should remain between the two of you for now.
I must say I was really shocked when I read this. Reading back on some of your posts. I somehow just wanted to share or say at least, for whatever it's worth, to take it easy. Just enjoy being single as of the moment. But like one of your previous posts where you sang "Terrified" don't be terrified to fall back in love with him.
Minsan kasi, minsan lang din dumadating yung mga ganong klaseng tao sa buhay natin. Parang sayang. For now, ok lang I guess na you both give each other space. Pero wag mo rin sana intayin yung day na di na kayo magkasama. Sayang lang talaga. Konting isip, konting reflection. Perhaps a retreat from all the happenings. Pero I'm sure alam mo naman if gusto mo talaga eh.
Hi Alex,
DeleteI really really REALLY appreciate your comment. I never expect a total stranger like you would care on my situation right now. Well yeah you are correct. As of the moment I'm kinda "Terrified" to try it again. After all the mistakes I made...
Yeah sayang, kung ang reason is minsan lang dadating satin yung ganung klaseng tao pero if you keep on hurting that person di ba lalo lang sya magiging sayang?
I'm trying to do my best to fix myself right now and be a better person. I don't want him to wait for it because that will be unfair on his part but let's see, I hope I'm not too late when that time comes.
Again, THANK YOU! :)
"Yeah sayang, kung ang reason is minsan lang dadating satin yung ganung klaseng tao pero if you keep on hurting that person di ba lalo lang sya magiging sayang? "
ReplyDeleteGusto ko sana tanungin how "you're hurting him?!?!" haha. But whatever that is I get you. It's just that baka naman "hurting" him is avoidable?
I would just like to say that I'm in the closet and nobody knows. And it is so goddamn hard. I'm not strong enough to admit it to everyone. That's why you guys being out is so inspiring. Pero mas inspiring yung relationship niyo. Parang it gives people like me hope that IT GETS BETTER talaga after.
Ang selfish lang ng dating but I hope you don't think we or I would love to see you back together just to inspire the rest of us. Basta, I hope you got me. Haha.