It’s been more than a week. The situation where I am now is one of the main reason why some people are getting tired of relationship. Honestly, I am too. I have some “sink-in” moments where I need to pull myself up before I totally fall from the cliff telling myself “oh no you don’t want to be in that zone again”. Seriously, what I have realized is that, I can get him back whenever I want to. I know I have that ability. I know he’ll take me back. He even gave me a silver lining when he messaged me that all he just want is for me to realize something that he’s expecting me to do. And to be honest, I can do that. But what’s stopping me… Guess I want change that badly…
Have I moved on already? Or am I moving on? Well, No. It’s just that I put myself for now in a glass cage where I don’t want to feel that atmospheric emotion goes under my skin. I’m not ready to face it. It’s either I don’t have a better resolution yet in mind or I’m just letting this to die slowly. I’m closing this door for now. Until I have this certain calling to redeem myself that I am really capable of committing myself to someone.
I can’t believe how I’m thanking my work now for keeping my mind busy. My friends who’re being neutral about the situation after they’ve found out all the wrong things I’ve done. I really am grateful of these people who’re not taking any sides at all. A friend of mine told me that happiness is just a state of mind. Well I agree with him and all emotions are too. So right now I’m faking happiness till I start to pseudo making it until I reach the part where I can do it once again, effortlessly.
No comments:
Post a Comment