LDR

Long distance relationship or some call it LDR. There are a lot for people who would settle for this kind of thing rather than being in a real thing.

The typical or rather practical “Filipina/Filipino” will enter in this kind of setup para maka-ahon sa hirap! Maraming foreigners or “Afams” naman jan na magiging solution sa poverty. Exotica Filipina… that’s the term me and my friends always use whenever we’re seeing a native and a foreign couple walking together on a street. Not that we’re mocking them but rather we’re happy na tuluy tuloy ang pagpasok ng dolyares sa Pinas na nakakasagip ng ating tourism! Ok kidding aside… whatever the needs of both parties why they end up together, it’s really none of our business! My dad met my Chinese-Filipina step mom through this long distance love affair. Dad’s in Manila and step mom is in Virginia. They stayed in LDR for roughly 3-4 years they’ve been Skype-ing  before they end up getting married. Now they’re together and I’m happy for them specially for my Dad. And because of this, I realized na may maganda rin palang kinakahinatnan sa ganitong setup.

Normally this kind of relationship occurs if you’re the type of person who almost spend your whole life in the cyber world. You don’t mind the molds and mildew or any type of fungi growing on your back bones or in your ass for as long as you’re online and connected! Some people meet their cyber bfs or gfs thru online gaming. Most are from different kinds of online dating websites. I used to be a victim of this kind of addiction. And yes, I met someone before! We caught each other’s interest regardless of our color and it doesn’t matter if this person lives on the other side of the world. And we consider ourselves as “us” for 2 years… It was fun but I guess I grew tired of sitting in front of my computer and wanted the real thing.

On the other hand. Some people can settle for this kind of setup because they might got tired of doing the real thing. Prolly ilang beses na nasaktan, kasi pwedeng isipin na it will be less painful and less responsibility kapag LDR. When in fact it’s the exact opposite. Pano pag namimiss mo may kayakap?  Or gusto mong may maka date? Mas prone din ito sa lahat ng temptations. Dito na rin masusukat ang trust  ninyo. It would be much better kung before eh magkasama kayo and one of you needs to go away lang talaga kasi kahit papaano malaki na ang “trust fund” as compare to starting it ng malayo kayo sa isa’t isa but then again, much better but it doesn’t mean na it’s much easier! Yung iba naman, kaya gusto ng LDR is because they want something different. Something unique! Because maybe this is their way of doing the so called “spark checking”. But the question is, how long can you sustain that spark in a long distance relationship?

People loves to complicate their lives sometimes. Maybe it’s because they want to prove something for themselves… And I seriously respect that!

I Hate My Mother

I need to repost this one which I just got from someone in Facebook...

I'm really not sure if this is based on a true story but I can't help but to cry after reading this... How can someome be so cold hearted with their mother... Seriously, I'd do anything just to bring my mother back to life!

It's been more than a decade now since she left us but I still can't get over the nostalgic zone I'm into whenever I think of her. I can be a cruel person with an adamant heart and my mom will be like a kryptonite that can make me weak in that state. She can also be my Scooby's Snacks whenever I feel so low and losing my will to fight. Whenever I make my friends laugh so hard with my humor, I always smile and say to myself that "Mom, this is your humor that everyone is buying!".

Treasure every moment with your mom. No matter how strict they are, or how insensitive you think they can be. Always remember, mother knows best! And they deserve all the love and respect from us regardless of the circumstances that we have with them. Like what Craig David says on one of his songs... You don't miss the water, till the well runs dry...

Familiar Stranger

Have you ever wonder why  there are some strangers that you keep on seeing anywhere? You don’t know them, they don’t know you. Gradually a perfect stranger! I always have that kind of encounters to the extent that I can still recall when was the last time I saw them. I dunno, I just find it quite a bit weird. This is different from a stalker because this is unintentional meet up.  Like no one ever planned for it. One example I had is this girl that I used to see back when I was living in Greenhills area. She used to be my gym mate, like we always have the same schedule going at the same gym. Then I also saw her at the Resorts World Casino and Republiq before. Saw her in some malls a couple of times too. Going to Bangkok last June, I also saw her with her gang at the airport and we’re at the same flight. Going back to Manila, I saw her again going home as well! And just this morning going to work, to my surprise I saw her again inside the public train. We never attempt to talked to each other. Well anyway what’s there to talk about but I can see to her face that I’m something familiar to her already… a familiar stranger… For the record, I wasn’t attracted to her. Well, maybe she is to me, Haha kidding!

I’m trying to analyze what this is all about. Is fate trying to link you with this person for a specific purpose? Or are you somewhat related to them in your previous life? Is he or she a reincarnation of someone you’ve lost? Of all the people around this over populated, over polluted country, why do you always see this familiar stranger? So many questions to figure out the answer. If only I’m the mushy type of guy, I would say that maybe this person is destined to be my partner… but hell no! I know myself… and my preference! Haha! And besides, she’s not the only individual that I kept on seeing around the metro. There’s this lady whom I think was a teacher that reminds me of my mom. A Chinese guy who looks like a business man whom I think is already married but I always see him with different kind of girls. An old woman that always makes me realize I should really pay a visit to my grandparents but up to now I still haven’t (tsk tsk oh shit!)… etc.

Whatever their purpose might be, it can really made a piece of my day seeing them saying to myself that “Hey, it’s you again!”. Maybe it’s unnecessary for us to say hi and build a conversation with these strangers. And maybe, just maybe, they are just there to make us realize what we might be forgetting along the way…

Best Laid Plans

Planning is something we do to set our goal… which is good. Let’s just make sure to always have a back-up plan whenever we do it. As we all know, not all plans can achieve its objective.  And normally failing is something harder to accept if we’ve planned for it. The longer we strategies the bigger our expectation is. But sometimes, people can survive in some circumstances even without blue printing all the actions they’ve taken. It is because not all things should be over analyzed and we just have to go with the flow. Life is like a poker. Just when you thought that you’re already winning having a full house in your hand, you all-in your money and then here comes the royal flush getting all the chips you’ve got. Meaning, no matter how you feel that everything’s under control, there’s always a probability that it can all go wrong even if it’s all in the plan. What I’m just trying to point here is that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, we should just learn how to accept it.

I believe in fate as much as I believe in destiny. And sometimes, planning can contradict these entities. I’m not saying that it’s not a good idea to plan things but there are times that we can just let fate play its part. Que sera sera! What will be, will be. The first time I heard my grandma singing this song, it really made an impact to me saying that my old lady is right. Because the moment she sang that is the time I failed my exam at school!  Funny but it really uplifted my spirit and self esteem. In terms of planning, yes of course I thoroughly reviewed my subjects but then again, who knows how the exam will be like? Whenever we’re in a relationship, we love the feeling of planning for the future with our partner but these plans can be an amo to his or your  gun when something goes wrong along the way. Again, let fate decide where it will take you. If ever you didn’t get the promotion at work that you’ve been expecting, then maybe it’s really not meant for you, or maybe it’s not yet time for you to get it. There’s always a right time for everything. As they say, when a door closes a window opens.

Even the best laid plans can fall apart which can lead you being despondent and frustrated. In every failure that we encounter, always think that it’s not yet the end of the world! Don’t blame anyone out of it. Sometimes, we just have to understand why the heavens above is making your life like a living hell. Who knows, He might have a better plan for you ahead…

Heartbreak's a Teacher

Ironically, you can only learn best from the hardest way. There's no easy battle with the matters of the heart. The heart was originally born gullible, immature and soft. You need to put some work out to hardened it skin, a brain of its own and some calloused to its fingers. Therefore, it’s just natural for it to get hurt. Even the most sacred heart of our Lord Jesus felt this agony from us. Hence, people tend to fulfill this thread thing cycle of hurt and be hurt… intentionally or not. It may sound so dark of me to say such lines. But welcoming this heartaches can be considered as a solitary gift that a person can give you. Based on my actual experiences, I have learned ways on how to dissect each portion of a heartache so that we can digest it and considered it as a best learning experience.

The freshly renowned single stage. This is where the ABC of your heartbreak starts. The most crucial and sensitive part that will also introduce you to natural diet and insomnia. A phase where some of your primary senses are malfunctioning that you’re too blind to see the truth and too deaf to hear your friends opinion. But you know what? It’s ok to go and take all this pain of realizing that you no longer have the one whom you have considered as your other half. Watch a lot of drama series and listen to James Blunt or Adele to imbibe the pain and cry all you want. What I usually do while I’m at this stage is to be alone, keep the pain inside me and look at a calendar, encircling a certain date in my mind where I will put an expiration to this dolefulness. So before that date comes, I’ll cherish all this sadness. When the deadline arrives, then it’s time to heal yourself.

The healing period is like a fork road of options. Setting your goal on how you would want a resolve on this heartbreak. Should you hate him? Would you still want to make friends with this person? Or can you totally ignore him. Either way, you are entitled to choose any. Consider this as a reward after all you’ve been through. This is the time where you should let your senses get into action. Get all your resources. Call all your friends, your parents or even your pet to comfort you and say what’s on your mind. No need to think thoroughly on what you will say to them cause for sure they’re much more willing to hear everything. This is the right moment to put yourself into a hot seat. Go to a spa. A make-over. And again, set a date on until when are you going to pamper yourself. Yes it is important in doing that as you don’t want to get stuck in this cycle without reaching the moving on period. Besides, pampering yourself too much will just make people you know think how sad you are. The longer the healing stage, the harder it will look that you can’t recover. So better yet mark a deadline.

Moving on doesn’t mean you totally forget everything. This is the stage where you have to assess yourself and the right time to think what just happened along the way and what you could’ve done to make it not right but not blaming yourself on what happened. Always remember that this is a cycle. A cycle that will never stop until you meet the right one for you. And you will never know who that might be if you won’t let yourself be into this course. This is the last part where you will harvest the sweet fruit out of your sorrow and sooner or later, plant that seed from the fruit and return to the relationship cycle.

A lot of people may see this as a very tiring methodology but once this seed from your previous heartbreak grows, that’s the only time you’ll realize what this bad experience have made you into. I can’t guarantee that it will make you stronger, but definitely it will teach you how to be wiser. And of course, a better relationship next in line!

Think Again

Work’s been stressful for me this past few weeks. A lot of issues can’t be solved and before you know it, may panibago nanamang problema. I’m also consistent incurring 50 to 60 hours of OT per month. So that’s almost doing a 12 hour shift everyday! But lately I’ve realized, maswerte pa rin ako because most of the problems I’m dealing are just work related.

I think it’s already innate to people to think more of the problems rather than the good things in life. We are more channeled on things that can or might ruin our mood. If you think my statement is wrong, think again! Paminsan kahit di naman ganun kabigat yung problem natin, we always over react on it. May time pa na natapos na yung problema pero uulit ulitin mo pa sa kaibigan mo just to vent it out. Simpleng nasagi ka lang ng katabi mo on a rush hour sisimangot ka na. I also know some people who keeps on cursing while driving. These are samples of little things I consider as self induced problems. Have we asked ourselves why we are like this?

Problem is like an oxygen. Or consider it as a bad fume of gas that whenever we inhale some, it changes our current state.  We are tend to have problems. But whatever our problem is, always think that there are some people who are experiencing worse than you. No matter how you consider yourself in a conundrum situation, religiously speaking, hindi naman ibibigay yan sayo ni Lord kung hindi mo kayang i-handle.

If you’re having a problem about your career, why not think na atleast you have a work. Maraming tao ngayon ang nahihirapan kumuha ng matinong trabaho. Having financial problem? Pera lang yan madaling kitain! Iniwan ka ng BF mo? Marami pa dyang mas worth it!  Before we dwell too much thinking of such problems, it’s much better to provide these simple alibis to deflect them. Isipin mo na lang yung mga taong wala na talagang makain at matirahan na nasa kalsada. Or yung matandang babae na namamalimos. Yung batang nakahubad na natutulog sa hagdan ng LRT. Heartbreaking to see but these are the things that will remind you na kahit papaano eh maswerte ka pa rin. And I’ll bet my neck na sobrang walang sinabi yung problema mo compare sa kanila! So if you think that you’re experiencing the worst… Think again!

We should embrace every problem that will come to our lives. These are not being handed over to us just to ruin our lives but to give us something that we can learn from it.  So face it not with fear, but with fierce!