Ironically, you can only learn best from the hardest way. There's no easy battle with the matters of the heart. The heart was originally born gullible, immature and soft. You need to put some work out to hardened it skin, a brain of its own and some calloused to its fingers. Therefore, it’s just natural for it to get hurt. Even the most sacred heart of our Lord Jesus felt this agony from us. Hence, people tend to fulfill this thread thing cycle of hurt and be hurt… intentionally or not. It may sound so dark of me to say such lines. But welcoming this heartaches can be considered as a solitary gift that a person can give you. Based on my actual experiences, I have learned ways on how to dissect each portion of a heartache so that we can digest it and considered it as a best learning experience.
The freshly renowned single stage. This is where the ABC of your heartbreak starts. The most crucial and sensitive part that will also introduce you to natural diet and insomnia. A phase where some of your primary senses are malfunctioning that you’re too blind to see the truth and too deaf to hear your friends opinion. But you know what? It’s ok to go and take all this pain of realizing that you no longer have the one whom you have considered as your other half. Watch a lot of drama series and listen to James Blunt or Adele to imbibe the pain and cry all you want. What I usually do while I’m at this stage is to be alone, keep the pain inside me and look at a calendar, encircling a certain date in my mind where I will put an expiration to this dolefulness. So before that date comes, I’ll cherish all this sadness. When the deadline arrives, then it’s time to heal yourself.
The healing period is like a fork road of options. Setting your goal on how you would want a resolve on this heartbreak. Should you hate him? Would you still want to make friends with this person? Or can you totally ignore him. Either way, you are entitled to choose any. Consider this as a reward after all you’ve been through. This is the time where you should let your senses get into action. Get all your resources. Call all your friends, your parents or even your pet to comfort you and say what’s on your mind. No need to think thoroughly on what you will say to them cause for sure they’re much more willing to hear everything. This is the right moment to put yourself into a hot seat. Go to a spa. A make-over. And again, set a date on until when are you going to pamper yourself. Yes it is important in doing that as you don’t want to get stuck in this cycle without reaching the moving on period. Besides, pampering yourself too much will just make people you know think how sad you are. The longer the healing stage, the harder it will look that you can’t recover. So better yet mark a deadline.
Moving on doesn’t mean you totally forget everything. This is the stage where you have to assess yourself and the right time to think what just happened along the way and what you could’ve done to make it not right but not blaming yourself on what happened. Always remember that this is a cycle. A cycle that will never stop until you meet the right one for you. And you will never know who that might be if you won’t let yourself be into this course. This is the last part where you will harvest the sweet fruit out of your sorrow and sooner or later, plant that seed from the fruit and return to the relationship cycle.
A lot of people may see this as a very tiring methodology but once this seed from your previous heartbreak grows, that’s the only time you’ll realize what this bad experience have made you into. I can’t guarantee that it will make you stronger, but definitely it will teach you how to be wiser. And of course, a better relationship next in line!
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