Hidden Talent (???)

Ok...  for this week, my trash on my thoughts won't work as I've been bombarded with lots of work. Backtracking the emails for more than 300 since I got back from my vacation. Sigh... the price to pay after going to a place like Riviera. Plus being a committee in this pageant we've been doing to raise funds for a cause. Just one of the times you wish you could multiply yourself to do all the tasks at the same time. Nevertheless I surpassed this week with a tired mind but with contented heart knowing that all my efforts in our program will help the less fortunate by gathering more than 300K in less than a month! Thanks for all the candidates!

Oh and by the way, please do excuse me of sharing this. So aside from doing the technical stuffs, floor directing, and doing the tally sheets, I also pushed myself to the limits by serenading the candidates. Seriously, this is the first and probably the last time that I will sing in a program. Sharing you the link below:

Test of Faith

There's this common saying that the world is like a wheel. Sometimes your up, and sometimes your down. But is this really true or just another state of mind that we embeded to ourselves in order to think that there's always a balance to everything, or a fair treatment to everyone... And yeah, that God made us equal. We as humans, loves to create a lot of alibis or in a good manner, having lots of rules for our lives. But there are times that I can't help myself but to ask if we're really born equal to each and everyone. Or did God created us with different status and classifications to maintain the balance in general of this world?

Just this morning I heard this bad news from my cousin who also just got out of the hospital and had multiple operations that one of our cousin was rushed to the hospital and was diagnosed with aneurism. I guess this is because she pushed herself too hard in helping her dad to recover from his mild stroke. Knowing these two cousins of mine for the longest time, I can testify that they've been good to their parents / relatives / friends and have done nothing bad at all. Well if ever they did, I'm sure it's really just some minor flaws and mistakes. And looking at myself, I was nothing compared to their goodness but here I am, healthy and stable in some way. But then again, is this something that I should be thankful of? Nevertheless, I still thank God for keeping me safe but at the same time, this turned into a major realization for me. Like really, do they deserve this hard circumstances that's happening to them and at the same time, do I also deserve this kind of life I'm living right now? Well if I'm going to base my self assessment with the things I've done, or the hardwork I did on how I've obtain this kind of status, I can say yes, I deserve this kind of life. But with the rules of life that if we did something good, goodness will come back to us in ten folds, howcome my cousins have still suffered?

If given a chance that I can ask God one question, I would like to ask how he weigh things out in this world. It's just like this phrase in one of the newspaper ad I've seen, howcome the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer? But instead of asking about this, I began to realize that we shouldn't be asking Him and instead we should ask ourselves how strong is our faith in Him. Life on earth weren't made to be easy as nothing is permanent on this world for us to fully embrace.

BCK 2 BKK, BCK 2 1

Finally a looong 6 days vacation! 3rd time already here in Bangkok and I'm still getting the same hype and affection towards the place. Prolly because of the cheap things, hospitable people and ofcourse, thai food! Another good thing about this place is that you don't have to adjust that much as it looks almost the same as my country. Well except for the language which is kinda challenging by the way as not all can understand english. Nevertheless, it's way better than Manila. I guess their government is less corrupt than us that's why you can see a good progression. Now why did I say less corrupt? Well I don't believe that there is a clean, non-corrupted government. Imagine, why would a politician spend millions of money during an election campaign if they won't get any greater favor back in return right? This is one of the many good reason why I'm not updated or rather not interested in knowing what's happening to my country politically speaking as I just find it as a major BS. It's enough for me to know that they're stealing some of my money making tax as an alibi during my monthly salary. That's why as much as I want to check my pay slip to know the details of what I got, I'd rather not for it will just make me feel bad. I just wish that Filipinos should realize that we used to be ahead of other Asian countries but now I just can't figure where we are now.

The first time I landed in Bangkok, I already fell in love with it. Not just because of the good things I've mentioned. But also, that's the time when I was longing to see someone in that place. We normally remember someone through a song or a significant perfume we smell. But everything about the lovely things in Bangkok always lands me directly to his heart. I fucked up and died. But that's the time I realized what I really want. Feeding ourselves with the things that we think we want would open our eyes on the one thing we really want to our life. Chances are the risk worth taking. I just wish that this third time could land me back to him....

Starbucks University

Trying to spend my "ME" time at a local mall, I was planning to kill time and relax at a coffee shop but when I went to Starbucks it seems like I was inside a campus as the ambiance is not as calm as a coffee shop should have. All the tables were occupied by laptops and books more than what they have ordered so I end up doing it at a doughnut shop leaving me no choice but to think if these students can really concentrate in this kind of surroundings. Seriously, may I ask who started making Starbucks, CBTL and the likes to be an extension of their study room? Isn't it more peaceful to study in your own room where no visual entities can distrub you and the only noise you can hear is your own breathe? Or maybe at a public library? For what is worth, I wish them all the luck in pursuing their degree. 

If there is one thing in my life that I don't want to go back again, it's the part where I was a student and trying to mold myself into the career that I want. Simply because, the thought of studying, writing on columnar books and ledgers plus the terror professors can really put a big stress out of your youthfulness. Seriously, I think I look younger now as compared when I was in college. Being a student, it's not just all about trying to pass all your exams. You also have to find some friends who will be your allies. A lover who can be your inspiration instead rather than a bad influence. A worthy leisure that can destress you with the limited allowance that you have. And honestly, for the record, I graduated not because I know the elements of Accountancy that well, but rather I just use all my possible resources back then. I may not be that smart, but I'm wise enough to get myself acquainted with talented people who act as a pillar of the bridge for me to get my diploma. 

If there's one thing I'm thankful that I've learned during those years, it's the ability to interact with people... Even after you graduate, having a good PR can open a lot of path for you. What's the sense of having high grades when you can't speak up during an interview? How can you get hired if you don't know how to tackle a witty question? Keep in mind that not all who are in the managerial position knows everything about the work proper but they're just good in manging their subordinates. And most of the horrible bosses are the ones who just rely on what the books have taught them and lacking themselves with people skills. So for all the students out there, don't just rely on what your books are telling you. But you also have to discover what other things you are capable of in order to progress as a good individual. At the end of the day, trust me, having a high IQ is not as good as having enough EQ.

Dad, I'm Gay

DISCLAIMER: To those who are homophobic… don’t even try reading this!

 

Stupid are those who deny the existence of Gays and Lesbians. Or the parents who’re saying to their children that they would rather prefer their child to be a drug addict than to be gay. Seriously, they really don’t know what they’re doing. For me, God really made this or gave this to human kind for a lot of reason. People who are “like me” are called the Libra of the society. We create and maintain the balance of life. If you’re going to notice, nowadays, most of the good looking men and women are the ones who turned gay. According to my personal theory, this is to maintain population control. It may sound really funny but seriously, if all the gorgeous people were straight then prolly it will be raining babies all over the place and poverty will be like an oxygen that we breathe for the whole time that we are living on this earth. Another good reason why “we” subsist is to prove that we are all made equal. Gays can show that whatever your sexuality is, you can excel in every aspect in life for as long as we have the right drive and determination. Enough about the Men over powering Women or Husbands should act as a slave for their Wives.

 

It’s really a wishful thinking trying to remove this stigma about gays/lesbians from the society. I do understand that we still have people around us who’re treating this sexuality as an abnormality or like a skin disease. And to some parents who doesn’t get why their child ended being gay, why not try asking your own genes instead?! On the contrary, I’m not in favor of putting an organization or go on a rally to fight for the rights of Gays and Lesbians. I mean, what kind of right are you trying to fight for? The right to legally suck a d*ck? We can also not blame why other people hated us. Sometimes, we put our own target board to our head why others try to keep shooting on us. We ourselves, mold this thing called reputation that we want others to see from us. So better mold it right if you want to earn others’ respect. And straight  people are not excluded in this rule. It’s just that for “us”, we should put twice the effort as compare to them for the sake of continuously proving that we are equal.

 

Another thing that a gay would consider as his greatest battle is to either hide his true sexuality or to admit it to the world. This is such a dilemma as you may never know what would be the outcome of both circumstances. It is really hard to keep it hidden inside your closet. The guilt of pretending and lying will chase you like a ghost. Because of the things you would consider like if you’re the only guy in your family, or your parents might dishonor you once they find out will keep you a closet queen. Having the guts to admit it doesn’t always take home the bacon. Most cases, it will just hurt the people you love. Lucky are the ones who gets the crown of acceptance in admitting their sexuality.

 

I remember the time I admit it to my family. That was when my dad borrowed my PS2 and I forgot to eject a gay porn inside it. When my dad finally discovered it, he immediately texted me wanting me to explain about it. I kept quiet. And he keep on ringing my phone. And again, I remained mute. But when he finally texted asking why didn’t I tell him and that he looked so stupid all the while, I replied. I said, it’s not that I don’t want to tell him, I just don’t want to talk about it. And that’s the time that he kept his own silence… and in less than an hour, he replied “It’s ok, I love you”… … …

Badlentine’s Day

I’m writing this post just to trash my thoughts in this Valentines celebration. Valentine’s day is just a date to express or rather exaggerate in showing how we love someone. But why wait for this day when you can do it in any day you want?

People who are single are treating this day as a one day stigma on their annual lives. Which shouldn’t be the case. Just because you are single doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this celebration. Valentine’s day aren’t really made for couples. Well couples may have an easy pass on who can they celebrate it but for the ones who are single, we can use this day to show your gratitude to someone like your friends, parents or closest relatives. Erase the negative thought of envying couples you see who’re both wearing red on this day and stop wearing something black for yourself.

For couples, this day can put a big pressure and a lot of expectation for lovers. It’s the exact same polarity of being single but having the same wave lengths in terms of making it through this day. The hassle to book a nice restaurants or the best seat to a concert or even to cinemas. The extra present you would be thinking aside from the little things you give or do during your monthsaries. Talking about financial matters, this is no joke at all. But on a different note, always think that  it’s the thought that still counts. Always, remember, this is just a date. If all fails during this day, doesn’t mean it’s the end of your relationship with your partner.

Different pressures around the air before or during this day can turn Valentines into Bad-lentines. But whatever it is that’s adding the tense on it, it’s just a state of mind. This is just one of the many crazy celebrations that humans created for us to loosen up ourselves from our boring lives. And to give more reason for us to spend our money.

Talk About Love

When I was younger, I used to be the hopeless romantic type of guy who loves to write love letters and make some full of effort artsy gifts to my love ones. I always made sure that my present will be surprisingly different and unexpectedly delightful. It’s not necessarily costly, well also because I don’t have much money back then. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s because I don’t spend too much on my gifts that’s why I will just unleash the Picasso in me or is it because I’m just too in love to be so inspired to do something special. Well it can be both I guess.

Young love, so vividly pure and intense. The initiation of the heart. This is the start of all the “first time”. First love, first kiss, first heartache, first sex and the first time you will break someone’s heart. This is the moment of our lives that can make a big mark to us that we will carry until we grow old. This is also the time where the heart is so careless and wild that our mind has no control of it. It’s because of the things we have never felt before when we are just kids trying to just love our parents and all we do is to just study our lessons at school. A suppressed or untapped emotion that’s starting to get out inside us as we approach our teen years. I can still remember all my first time in terms of love. Looking back at those moments, I can say how stupidly in love I was back then. But thanks to all those things that hurt and made a callous to my heart which made me a stronger person now. But there’s also a part of me who will forever appreciate my stupidity before which I think I might not ever do again.

Does it comes with the age of a person on how he/she treat him/herself being in love? No, because I know a lot of people who were already at their middle years, but still manage to do the teeny bopper kind of love affair. I guess, it’s how you will nourish the love in you. For me, love will always be immature and has no mind of its own. And we, as the owner of it is responsible for all the things it will feel for us. Love is ageless and it’s the mind that grows old and learns how to manipulate our heart. The heart is so pure that only our mind can remind it the marks of its wounds. The best way to balance the heart between our mind is to stop thinking about the “Heart over Mind” or “Mind over Heart” kind of label or judgment that we usually bestow on us or to other people as both things should work cooperatively.

Love is like religion. Too many things to believe in that we should be respecting. Reminiscing the love back then and now can make us realize a lot of things about life and love. And for me, love can wait. We should not let ourselves revolve around it but it should be the other way around. As there are other things in life which will help love to grow in us in the long run that we should also be attending.